News; Chad Ochocinco Gets Pretends to Get Face Tattoos

Update: Mr. Ochocinco has indeed tweeted that the tats are fake because his grandma would have killed him otherwise. So, yeah, everything's back to normal in Cincinnati. Next stop: AFC North title. Obviously.

The term "jumping the shark" jumped the shark a few years ago, but dated references aside, it perfectly describes Chad Javon Ochocinco. When Chad first began acting out -- silly touchdown celebrations sandwiched between sillier sound bites uttered through gold fronts -- we all thought it was funny.

Like when a puppy nips at your hand in between tail-chasing sessions -- it's harmless and cute. Except that it becomes less so when, four months later, the dog is chewing through everything in the house and you end up putting him on doggy Prozac.

That's Mr. Ochocinco.

Already this offseason the NFL New Orleans Saints has allowed him to wear prior to his miserable 2008 season, and explained his relationship with quarterback Carson Palmer in terms of Brokeback Mountain. On their own, hardly a big deal. But after a while, it becomes tiresome, and then a distraction, and before you know it, it's December, Chad's acting out while demanding a trade, and the team has four wins.

So with that in mind, the latest news that Ochocinco got his face all tatted up probably doesn't make Marvin Lewis feel better about the '09 season. Via the Ochocinco :

"Yall might not believe me but my tatoo guy is here and i getting my face done, looks cool to, dont be mad just accept the Ocho please"

Consider Ocho accepted. As to the ink specifics, here ya go: On the right side of his face, on the cheekbone, are two crosses while a tiny map of the state of Florida is on the left side. On the bridge of his nose are the letters OC.

As far as face tats go, the two crosses seem understated enough. And while a map of anything drawn permanently on your face is, in general, an idiotic notion, it's a stroke of genius compared to getting a tattoo on the bridge of your nose.

That said, I fully expect Chad to announce that the tats are temporary, but part of me hopes they're legit. It somehow seems fitting. And here's a suggestion for his next one: Best Buy holiday shopping specs. Because, really, what screams "I'm an insane person!" like Urkel glasses tattooed to your face? That's right, nothing.

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